"I'm In LOVE with a Fairytale,take ME away Mr Prata Man”
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TO Mum....
Friday, July 31, 2009 || 3:31 PM
Mum i know asking you not to worry is a bit too much... Cause you are afraid of me going back to the person i am 6 years ago... But mum, i want to settle this as much as you or even more than you. i tired and sometimes i dunno how to start. I am learning and trying to adapt to whatever situation is being thrown at me. However i didn't see this specific situation coming at me during poly. I didn't. So now i am being tested whether can i make it through or am i am going to crumble because of what i have experience 6 years ago. Mum even i am have my doubts on whether can i make it anot (the problem not my studies). So Mum i am trying to adapt because this situation hit me when i wasn't looking. I need to think it through.... However i will not let it affect my studies... I know that these two problem is totally different. I dunno how to explain it to you or tell you about it because it seems so trivial.. Furthermore i dun feel comfortable telling you in this point of time because even me, myself is still trying to adapt to it. I need you to give me time and space.. Asking me to answer questions which i, myself have no answer to. I cannot communicate with you that way. I need time but meanwhile i will not let it affect my studies. This issue happen earlier on at the last block already... I got a B+ for the last block. See i am able to get good grades even when this is happening... I will not say that i am 100% fine but at least i know what i must do... I know my duty to myself. But only for today i just have no mood to think anything and to do anything... I know i am making you worried, but please dun be sooo worried... I will talk to you when i am ready, when i know how to... But just for today let me dwell on it and then the next day i will get over it and be ok already.. I am only asking for today.... Trust me mum.... I will not go back to that me 6 years ago... i have no intention of being that 'me' ever again...
It has been damn long...
Thursday, July 16, 2009 || 6:30 PM
Oh gosh... I have been neglecting my dear diary... And for that i am sooo sorry. (^.^) I just dun have the motivation to be write anything... People!!! I am sad and feeling uneasy... Even i am happy with where i am and how things has been progressing.. But somehow i feel that i am not giving my best during this block.... I feel very lazy and sometimes i totally space out while listening to Veron or Wilson... Oh man! What am i doing? I have to buck up, seeing my friends chiong so heard for Evey individual block... I am starting to get cold feet... I dunno what is wrong with me.. I know that i still feel the same about this course and the path that i choose for me... But feeling like this is just wrong.. Oh come man!!! GRACE TEO WEI JUAN!! You have to buck up, women!!
