*NERDY MAMA!
Hey hey. My parents are Hoochie Mama and Nerdy Papa, hence my name is Nerdy Mama.
I wear a pair of RED-framed glasses, which i think i look good in. Hee... And I'm seen with a book wherever I go. I'm a geek who is living in my little world full of Elves, Pixie Dust and Tiny Shoemakers. My friends know me for the crazy biatch i am sometimes, but of course the typical me don't give a damn. I in love with the man, that is the complete opposite of me BUT nevertheless i believe we were made for each other, dun you think so?
-That's me (-_____-)
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I am feeling real sad right now.... Not sad as in crying my heart out sad, but sad in a way i feel that i am being pushed away.... Which i know is not what he is trying to say...

But nevertheless, i still feel it... I know that even after five months he still sees himself as alone and not someone that has another person beside him. He has been alone for such a long time and is so independent, sometimes i wish he will need me more. And that i could be a help to him, be it his studies or in his life. I hope that i am as important to him as he is to me.

He always doesn't show his emotions well, i understand as a guy sometimes it is not easy showing and letting the ones close to you know how much they mean to you...

I have been planning for today for about 4 days now, i know he didn't like me to get him anything because to him this day is still the same like any other day. But i wanted to do something for him, i realize i always like to show my affection for him and loves to do things for him. Some how, i like seeing his reaction when receiving something i have done.
And the worse part is i cannot get him to co-operate with me if i want to bring him out for a simple dinner. We hardly go out because he have to study and i dun want him to spend so much money, but since it is something special, why not? Why not go out to have a dinner or even catch a movie?

But he couldn't because i know he doesn't want me to spend the money on him and rather that i save the money for something more important than that. But to me i am ok with spending the money on that day, it is not like i get to go out with him that often. He have to spend the day with his family that i understand, of course i do. It is not the 'Not spending time with me' that i am sad about.

It is the things that he said about going over to his house. That i shouldn't go over too often, at first i though it is because he felt that i always have to run here and there so he didn't want me to go over. But then he replied me that it was becoming a habit and it should stop. For a moment, of course what he said hurts, it hurts a lot. But then when i think about it, i know that that wasn't his house and it will be very ill mannered for me to keep going into someone else's house to meet and spend time with someone who dun own the house. So i understand.

I know that what he meant wasn't to push me away, but as someone who loves you and wants to be with you, of course it hurts. Somethings just can't be sugar coated it had to be said and he said it. I know where he is coming from, that we should also spare a though for other people's feelings and understand them.

Still as a gf i did something for him and i guess i will be giving it to him tml then. I spent a lot of time on it and i really wanted it to be the best and represent how much he meant to me.. Anyways i feel much better pouring all whatever i have stored up inside....
That's all peeps...
Byezzzz!!!!!