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Monday, December 27, 2010 || 5:01 AM
It is soo fucking great when you have somebody to whine and talk about almost anything in your life. In fact, that person is constantly updated on whatever crap or bullshit that is happening in your life right now.
Yea, Yea so what if i am only 19 years old. Problem dun give a rat ass about whether you will crash under the pressure or feel like crap? They come and goes. You just got to learn to deal with it and through that you learn. Well, at least that's how i learn. I learn things the hard way and sometimes i try so hard to help some or my friends see that, they still dun budged. And the worse thing of all is that they will come back to you for support and just being there. But you cannot not at under any fucking circumstances say i told you so.
Oh god, sometimes i really wish i can say that.
Or even worse, sometimes i feel like saying where is your fighting spirit?
This is post is to a friend whom i have known for a long long time and i have always regard her as my sister or even closer than that. I know that in the real world you dun have friends and even if you have, remember and be prepare to leave them someday. But for friends which you have through many years of studying and mugging together, dun ever let them go. Cause they may turn out to be the only constant in your life.
So to my friend,
I have seen you grow from your little timid self to someone that is not afraid to voice out our opinion about things. But now i felt that you have lost your voice and you cannot reach out to me. Maybe you have chosen someone else to reached out to, nevertheless i am still happy and contented to at least know that you have found someone you can talk to about these things.
Me of all person who is in your life, knows how much effort you have put in this issue, i know and see all of that. But now i have seen the fire or the spark grown smaller and smaller throughout these years. My heart ache for you, cause i remember how you were when you first started out. Always making an effort in making sure that your feelings was being conveyed.
Even after that horrible incident, you have managed to get over and recover ( not fully ) but at least you managed to go through it. I know that scars are still there and maybe it will never go away but you have to fight for what is yours.
You dun deserve whatever you are getting now, as the years go by you should be getting more and more. But now even you felt that there is not much you can do to save it. So i am here for you, no matter what. I know it will be difficult but i know i will not be the only one here for you. There will be all your close friends with you, we will do many stupid things or crazy things to get through it.
So for once, make a scene. Make it as loud as possible, dun worry about the mess. Biatch and i will handle it. We will support you when you are at your weakest point. I will make time for you. Cause at my lowest you were there, you managed to see through my weakness and my mistake and still stand beside me. You did that for me, cause you know the real me.
I will do that for you too. So go ahead make a scene already!! Let everybody know that things are not what as they seem. Let people know including the ones involved know that you are not ok with somethings and somethings have to change.
Every time when i ask you are you ok with the things in your life, you always say yes, there is nothing wrong. But there IS!!! I can see that, i can feel that from your emotions and your reactions. I know you.... Don't you think it is silly to hide things from me? After being together for so long?
It is ok to cry, it is ok to feel that things are not right. It is ok to make your voice heard. I will be there, i know i will cause i will never forgive myself if i am not there to help you through this or to even just be there. We (Biatch and me) want you to feel something, to be angry for once to show emotions and let everybody know what exactly is wrong here.
You are not in the wrong here. ( not totally)
People makes mistakes and so do you, so just for once be childish and throw a tantrum like never before and get it over once and for all.
You are not alone.. I promise.
