"I'm In LOVE with a Fairytale,take ME away Mr Prata Man”
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June 2011
Dear Soon to be Good/ Close Friend!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011 || 6:38 PM
I am very happy to have you as my friend and that i am able to talk to you about practically anything under the sun..
There are a lot of things that we have known about each other, with the thing in mind that we will never be judged and we understand each other. I am proud to say that you are one of the few that i am really myself, baring it all.
You were the first person in which we share deep and meaningful questions, asking each other what is our goal in life and even sometimes " Do you think he is the one? " type of question.
To me you were the first person in which i admire the most, you are a person that is very driven to get what she wants and what she hope to achieve. You are the person who will push on through hard times and emerge a victor. You are strong on the inside but yet i feel that you are soft too..
Remember there was one time where you told me that you feel that you are an evil person and that you dun feel good about it. My dear dearest friend, you are not!! We are not perfect, all of us will be evil too, that's how you know good from bad. That's how you different shade a good feeling from a bad feeling. If you are able to think that you are a bad person, then i can say 100% that you are not a bad person. As a bad person will never FEEL or THINK that he or she is bad for a moment.
I really hope that you will find whatever you are finding for, be in who you are or even your happiness.. I really hope that good things happen to you in the future and that you will be successful in whatever you set your heart to do. Maybe we will even become business partners and open our concept store.
My only regret is that i didn't know you earlier in year one... But nevertheless i am happy to have met you and become friends... And i really hope that this friendship will not end after we graduate from school. And that we will still be able to ask each other questions that we dun not dare to ask ourselves.
Thank you for being there... Really looking forward to our outing trip... (^.^)
I'm back...
|| 6:20 PM
I'm back or am i not?
I am still thinking about what i want after i start going out, facing the real world.
I am lost, then again i think we are all lost when we are thrown out of the only comfort that we know off then left to decide which way to turn to.
Which way will i turn to? Which path will i chose to travel on? Will i make a mistake and chose an path in which bounds me so so tightly to it that i cannot breathe and i will lose myself.
Or will i take a paths that liberates me, i will be able to do what i want and hope for in my life. I will be able to mound and shape my future.
I am afraid of something that i do not know, the feeling of not knowing what you want is terrifying and as the time goes passes, i am not getting an answer.
I am already a senior in my school, i am going to be 20 years old this year. I am going to have to make choices which will determine how i will move on from here. I am going to face bosses and have to fit my ideals into the society.
After SIP i will have to deal with my final year project and then i am done. Am I ready? Am i strong enough to handle expectations given to me by strangers and can i meet then? I know that when i am placed in that situation i will be able to cope cause i wouldn't want to let that person down. But do i want to be in that position?
I dunno all the answers, i am also still starting out and trying to find my footing in this. I know that once i fall there will be nobody to support me. Cause they are not me, they will never know and feel what i am feeling.
I want to be a stylist, i want to try to work in events, i would also like to see whether i am able to be in the visual merchandising industry. So many wants and woulds... But i only have one shot, there is not trying.
Maybe that is the thing i am scared of make a mistake as i dun want to chose the wrong path or make the wrong decision. But because i know that i am afraid that's why i am scared of making the wrong decision under a heat of the moment.
Hais.. Why can't everything be more simpler... Fuck my life if i am were to end up in a job which i hate and i have lost myself in it. Seriously FUCK MY LIFE.
